You have finally mustered the courage to start your counselling and have settled on a psychotherapy appointment, what can you do to better prepare?
In your search, you looked through countless profile directories and help pages. You read articles on how to choose a therapist and have finally found your best therapist. It is finally time to set up your first meeting time for your psychotherapy appointment. Now what?
First off, there is nothing wrong with simply getting there on time and allowing the professional to guide the process; that’s their job. Still, thinking it through beforehand can help you get even more from the encounter.
Keep reading to find out how to prepare for your first psychotherapy appointment. We will cover some things you should think about before the meeting, what to do (and not do) while you are there, and finally, what to do afterwards.
Pay attention to the appointment time and place
You have already set a time and date for the psychotherapy appointment, and let’s start by assuming you have considered the pros and cons and opted for in-person therapy over an online meeting.
Arriving at your session flustered and stressed is something you want to avoid; first sessions bring enough anxiety as it is. So, plan the route, see Google Maps for traffic and travel time, and check the weather prediction.
Avoid engaging tasks that may run over time just before the session, and allow leeway for your return. The aim is to enable mental space and as much presence in the session as possible. Worrying about getting back to work won’t be good.
Not all therapists have waiting rooms, so call ahead to confirm whether they have a space for you to wait. If they don’t, either arrive on time or plan where to wait if you arrive early.
Prepare a list of questions
Consider and prepare questions you wish to ask your therapist in the first psychotherapy appointment. The therapist will likely have their own; after answering them, you may find you can’t easily come up with yours, especially if you become emotional.
Some questions to consider may include the following:
- What are your fees, and how are they handled?
- Do you have a cancellation policy?
- Are you registered with a professional body?
- Is your focus short- or long-term?
- Will there be homework?
- What are your expectations of me?
- Tell me about your kind of therapy.
Some questions you might want to hold in mind when you asses if this therapist is the best one for you:
- Were they professional and punctual?
- Do they seem organised and emotionally together?
- Whose life was in focus, yours or theirs?
- Have they grasped enough of your issue?
- Are there clear boundaries? You want a therapist, not a buddy.
- Did you feel accepted? If not, was it because of how they behaved?
- Were they interested to hear you out?
- Were you judged or criticised?
Prepare the information that you are going to need
There is no proper way of preparing for your first psychotherapy appointment because everyone has different needs. Indeed, there is no need to over-prepare. Instead, your therapist will guide you along the way.
Still, spending a little time before the session thinking about what brings you, what your therapist should know to understand you, and what you hope to achieve will help.
Also, think about how you would describe your challenge, how you understand it, what you tried before, what worked, and what you think might help now.
Your answers aren’t supposed to be instructions to your therapist, but they will help clarify where you are.
Be prepared to talk
There is no proper way of preparing for your first psychotherapy appointment because everyone has different needs. Indeed, there is no need to over-prepare. Instead, your therapist will guide you along the way.
Still, spending a little time before the session thinking about what brings you, what your therapist should know to understand you, and what you hope to achieve will help.
Also, think about how you would describe your challenge, how you understand it, what you tried before, what worked, and what you think might help now.
Your answers aren’t supposed to be instructions to your therapist but will help clarify where you are.
Be honest with yourself and with them
Rather than being something that’s done to you, psychotherapy is a collaborative process that requires participation. The more you bring in, the more you will get out.
Try starting out seeing your therapist as someone who intends to be on your side. You might carry guilt and shame, but a therapist should never shame you. Their job is to find their way into your shoes and facilitate your growth and development.
The therapeutic journey is one that grows through the establishment of a secure and trusting relationship. Mutual respect forms the foundation. It is only through this that honesty can unfold.
Give yourself time to heal
Appreciate that a first session is just the start. Depending on your goals, it may be the start of a long and rewarding journey. Even if your focus is clear and specific and aiming to be short-term, it will take time for your challenges to be fully described and understood.
There are ways to speed this up, but they aren’t necessarily possible, and this may be why you seek help in the first place. The process will move along more quickly if you can hold to the task of finding your way through your difficulties. For many, this gets derailed by a need to prove to others that you are coping. No one likes feeling vulnerable.
Being able to allow vulnerability requires trust, which is both earned and takes time.
Be forgiving (of yourself)
There is no such thing as the perfect first psychotherapy appointment. There will be things that you wish you had said or asked. If they are essential, they will return to mind when you meet next or when you are ready to hold on to them in session.
Also, therapists are human beings like you. We try our best and, over time, do get things right, but it is rarely a straightforward journey to success. Mistakes are a natural part of being human; what matters most is how we respond to and repair them.
